I’m doing NaNoWriMo again. This is my fifth year and I’m working on the fourth book in “The Secret of Arking Down” series. This doesn’t mean that the other books are finished of course. Of all of them, Book One is the only one that has been Published.
“Angel’s Crown” was the first book that I wrote for NaNo and was my first ‘win’ in 2009.
If you fancy finding out about it, check out the amazon page –
Of course, I headed straight back to NaNo in 2010. By this time, I had come up with enough ideas, all interlinked, for a series, so for that year, I wrote “The Dragon’s Pendant”.
This was another win, but it almost wasn’t because I scraped in under the wire with just over fifty thousand words at midnight on November 30th. This one needs serious editing and isn’t scheduled for release until early summer next year.
Last year, I attempted NaNo again. I took book three in the series, “The Second Door” and tried to juggle writing, art & design coursework and family all at the same time.
Needless to say, it wasn’t a year which I won. I’d completed about thirty thousand words when I was forced to choose between homework and writing. Homework and family won and I let go of the writing for the moment.
I’m still trying to complete this book and it is almost finished, but there’s no way it will be ready for release until late next year.
This year it is the turn of “Daemon’s Will”. Things are going quite well at the moment, considering that we’re six days in and I’m just over twelve thousand words into the story.
I’m currently a full time carer for my Son who has Aspergers and is going through a rite of passage by going to High school for the first time. So I have plenty of time for writing. I should be happy.
But something is obviously bothering me, because I’ve been having odd dreams. They aren’t nightmares, but they all seem to be about one thing: Sex.
Get your minds out of the gutter…
If you know anything about psychology and /or dream interpretation, sex in dreams isn’t actually about wanting more of it (well sometimes it is), more often there are other reasons for dreaming about sex. Sex is about human intimacy, true and often that can be what you are trying to work out in your mind, but there are other reasons for it as well, depending on what you dream about.
For example dreaming of being raped can be as much to do with a violation of person space than it is to do with the act. It mostly about power issues between male and female sides of the psyche.
Feeling desire for someone else, most often of the opposite gender, is a basic urge for closeness. We are looking for a part of ourself that we have lost and the other character represents the closest we can get to it. If it’s a purely physical desire, then it comes from the selfish side of ourselves.
Now, I’m not going to recount the dream to you – for a start it involves a celebrity that I have a major crush on and I don’t want him to suffer from any rumours because I’m dreaming about him! I’ve never met him, I’m never likely to meet him, he’s a fantasy crush from the TV.
I will however say that he’s a dancer…
Now everyone who knows me will be running through what I’ve been talking about recently and will probably come up with the right person…
When I analysed my dream, I realised that what this dancer represents to me, isn’t him as a man, but the side of myself which I have never fully developed.
I’m fascinated with dancers and dancing. I find them sexy and exciting, which is the complete opposite of how I see myself. They are flamboyant and sensual; the female dancers are feminine in a way that I have never associated with myself and they have a confidence that I can only envy.
Dance is very controlled, especially ballroom, you have to learn the movements correctly and add them to the music in the right places for the dance to look flowing and effortless when performed. This dancer is also very masculine. He looks like the sort of man that would look after his partner, love and admire her with everything he does.
Right now, I feel very much feeling like a middle aged mum. I’m frumpy, flumpy and boring. The house is a state and I feel very much like I’m not in control of my life.
I’m having to live from moment to moment on not a lot of money (only what the government deems I am allowed to have to look after the children) and my partner isn’t helping a lot because he is currently an Art Student, which means he isn’t bringing any money into the house, but also means he doesn’t have enough time to help around the house. He’s always tired and when he isn’t sleeping, watching TV or playing on his games console, he’s working on his coursework.
So our relationship is at a bit of a low at the moment as well.
So when I’d finished analysing this dream, I came up with the following.
- I need to get in control of the things that I can control.
- I need to find the feminine, flamboyant side of me again.
- I need to take responsibility for my own actions to get what I want.
Add these three things to the fact that I can write all I want to at the moment, and I’ll be happy. Hopefully, realising these things will stop these dreams from bothering me, I’ll be able to gets some sleep and write properly again!