The Exhaustion of Publishing.

I’m a writer. I write no matter whether I am making money or not.

Mostly I’m not.

I publish them because there are people out there that like to read and I love enabling them.

And because I don’t make money from my books, I have to choose wisely what to spend what little money I have available for publishing. So I tend to spend it on Covers. I know some wonderful Cover Artists.

I have a lot of anxiety around my books. I’m very sensitive about them and I loathe people who insult my CA’s.
This is what happened this morning. I was rash enough to open up to a group of people about my books and ask for their help on making the latest cover for The Angel’s Crown to be the best possible.

Clearly it was the wrong group of people to ask. I ended up having a meltdown and upsetting my family (they get upset when I get upset) which ruined a perfectly beautiful, sunny, summer’s day. I now have a headache and while I’m not likely to give up writing, I might give up trying to publish my work.

I’m so tired of trying so hard to do this.

It’s hard enough being a mother of 4 wonderful autistic children. It’s hard coping with the day to day effects of my own Autism, Depression, Anxiety and physical pain. It’s hard coping with the responsibilities of being a Carer to my Partner.

At some point, something will give.

I don’t want it to be the writing and drawing, but they’re the simplest to give up.

I’m not saying this because I want you to feel sorry for me or to guilt you into anything, but because I want you to remember something.

Every Author, big or small, is Human.

They all have problems that you cannot see through their words.

When you respond to an author on social media, how you talk to them affects them. They might not let it out in public (in fact most authors don’t) but if you value their work and want to see them publish more of it, so that you can read it, then be respectful, be nice and keep your insults to yourself – or you might find that they give up publishing that work forever.