100 Days to be Happy: Breathing

Breathe in... Breathe out... Repeat.

Breathe in… Breathe out… Repeat.

Yes, I know it’s an odd thing to be happy about, but it’s very much on my mind today.

It’s raining, which always puts me in a sour mood, the baby keeps screeching no matter what I do and I’m so tired that all I want to do is crash out for a couple of hours… but I can’t because every time I try, something wakes me.

So I remind myself to breathe.

IN…

Hold it… one…two…three…four…five…

OUT…

IN…

Hold it… one…two…three…four…five…

OUT…

IN…

Hold it… one…two…three…four…five…

OUT...

And reminding myself that I can breathe calms me down and makes me a little happier.

…I’d be happier still if the sun came out, but any port in a storm…

I’ve done this exercise five times today – it’s been one of those kinds of days!

 

Sunday Rambling on a Monday…

It’s a Bank Holiday.

Theoretically that means  in the UK, we have a day off work and more rest. Some people have BBQ’s, others go out on day trips…

Hmm.

Sadly, as far back as I can remember, Bank Holidays have never been much fun or restful.  When I was a kid, I’d spend the day doing the homework that had to be in the next day or going out on Fish Buying trips with my parents. As a Tweenager (10 – 13) I read most of the time or wrote *very* bad poetry… when I wasn’t avoiding my younger sister.

Getting old enough to work didn’t help – it just made it more normal to have a day off. And the activities never got any better until I went to Uni – living in the centre of Plymouth tended to improve my life a whole lot! *grins*

So fast forward to today.

We went and picked up NOS from Scout Camp. He’d managed to fall in the river yesterday and completely soak himself from head to foot. Brand new boots and all. Like Father, like Son…

*sighs*

He brought a good third of the river out with him! However, he’d had a good time and was very tired.  So most of the afternoon after we got home was fairly quiet.

PT on the other hand, started bouncing higher than usual. She was really quiet and sweet while her brother wasn’t in the house, but the moment he came home, off she went, demanding and noisier than ever.

* * *

It’s been one of those days where it’s hard to concentrate on any one thing. I haven’t been able to write properly, my jewellery designs for my Final Major Project have been useless and all I’ve been able to do since finishing putting the main section of the webzine up yesterday, and I still have an important article to do for it – but I haven’t been able to do anything!

*double sigh*

Wet, windy and a bank holiday – guaranteed to wipe out any creative urge I have…

December blues.

The week before xmas is the time when I get really down.

Amidst the bustle of putting christmas celebrations together for the children, I am inexplicably reminded of the people I am not going to see over the holidays.

I haven’t spent a Christmas with my Mum since I left home for uni – that’s nearly ten years. I haven’t had a Christmas with my Dad for much longer; I think I was fifteen the last time I saw him during the holiday season. They are still alive and in contacting distance – I intend to try and call them during the holidays, to try and make it feel right again.

There are two people that aren’t alive though and while they aren’t my family (being on my partner’s side) I do miss them. Dianne (TOH’s mum) loved Christmas and we have missed her at every one since 2003. Arthur (TOH’s Grandfather) died last year and it was difficult enough last year; I think that this year is going to be harder.

I’m not sure how to handle this – it’s not your usual kind of depression, in that it only turns up at Christmas and Easter, but it is a kind of depression. I know a lot of people that get it and it’s not just me that suffers, but how do other people handle the feelings? I’d love to know.

* * *

Another thing that triggers the December Blues is the weather. We’re surrounded with people singing Christmas carols and all the pop songs for the Christmas number one have snowy videos, yet here in South Wales, it’s wet, windy and… well, miserable. Last year, when we had snow before Xmas, the mood was a lot brighter and happier, but snow is just frozen rain – so why does it lift the spirits so much? And why doesn’t rain make us feel the same?

*sighs and shrugs*

I suppose my mood is mostly because I have had a tough month.

I actually failed to get the webzine out this month (which makes me feel guilty); I still don’t have a job and the part time course I am doing, while it is going fairly well, heaped so much pressure on me in the run up to the holidays that I completely missed out on the fun run up to Xmas.

I didn’t get to do Advent Calenders with the kids,  didn’t manage to send out any cards (the one time in the year when I am sure that I have managed to contact most of my far away friends personally) and haven’t been able to do the xmas shopping in a relaxed way…

*sighs again*

I hope that you’re all having a better time of it than me. I just hope I can pick my mood up when we get the xmas tree up…