and the work goes on…

When you’re a writer, work never halts. Oh you eat, sleep, do real life things, but the work goes on inside your head.

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A week ago, my new publisher brought “The Tower and The Eye: A Quintology” onto the market. You’d think that my brain would then let me rest.
*shakes head ruefully*
Nope. In that time, I’ve had another idea for a Quargard story, managed to add five thousand words to “The Ballad of Pigsnout the Wanderer” and get an article published.

Yes, the good folks at Geek Native have allowed me the privilege of waffling my way through the gentle art of world building. Everything you might want to know about how to build a fantasy world for any nefarious purpose you can think of…

Feel free to pop over to the site and take a look at the article – here – and if you have any questions, make sure that you comment and I’ll do my best to answer them.

I sometimes wonder what it’d be like to be a normal person with a 9-5 job, no voices demanding that I write their story down 24/7…

 

Excitement is building like the thunderstorm over my head…

… and I mean that quite literally – we’re having thundery showers in Wales today and my head is pounding with a pressure headache.

Our weather in the summer goes from this:

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Beautiful blue skies, warm sunshine, soft breezes…  to this:

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Dark grey clouds, portentous and foreboding, brisk winds and chilly rain so fast you’re not sure if you imagined the first sight at all.
*sighs*
It’s something that I’ve grown used to. Where I come from in Suffolk, summers were either so hot and dry that we had dust storms forming from the fields as the light breezes picked the topsoil up and turned everyone orange with it; or they were grey, chilly and dankly depressing.

So I moved to Plymouth to go to Uni and found the weather much more to my liking – more blue skies and warm sunshine than cold and wet (except in the winter of course) – although there was that memorable day one summer where we went from hot sunshine to snow / hail and back to sunshine again.
Wales was a bit of a shock to the system, to be completely honest. However, after living here for more than ten years, I’m now inured to the changeable weather!

Anyway, back to the excitement.

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It’s hard to define this feeling. It’s definitely excitement, but there’s a lot of fear involved as well. This new edition of the story is all five books in one and it’s a Poison Demon of a book – a proper, epic sized fantasy book.

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The cover, as ever, is beautiful – Elizabeth Bank from Selestiele Designs at her best. The editor at Blue Hour Publishing has polished and burnished the content until it gleams, shining like a shiny thing under the bright welsh summer skies (when it is sunny here, it gets very warm and bright) and there’s a little bit of new content included, so even if you’ve read the first four books from when I published them myself, I really would suggest you get this edition!

The fear comes in when I look at how well the fantasy genre is doing in general. The boom produced by the LOTR / Hobbit films is fading and Game of Thrones readers are still waiting for the author to produce the next book in the series (and moaning about it at the same time) but my sort of fantasy, the kind with battles and creatures and destinies, doesn’t seem to be doing that well.
I’m scared that it is going to be too big a book, that it’s not going to do well… oh so many worries that go through my head before I drop off to sleep each night.

All of this is completely normal of course! Ask any writer about the run up to the launch of a new book and you’ll hear the same sort of thing.

If you want to be there for the virtual Launch Party… yes, I’m actually being launched properly… then pop over to facebook and click join at the other end of this link –

The Tower and The Eye Launch Party

I’ll be happy to see you there; the more the merrier!

Some thoughts about Guns…

TOH is playing Watchdogs. For the most part, he likes it because you can sneak around playing the game without hurting any of the civilian characters that are wandering around the city.

There are puzzles and you can choose the way you play so that you become a Vigilante rather than Terrorist (the opposite end of the reputation bar.) You can protect civilians, stop them getting hurt and attacked.

The story line is quite an interesting one. It looks at the way that information is used in the real world and just how much information everyone puts out there that can be twisted or used to hurt. It’s a scary concept, but that’s not what I want to talk about.

Like with many of the games now, you get digital trophies for certain things – for example, the number of police scans you evade. Most of these are easy enough to do without hurting anyone. However,  TOH being who he is, likes to get all of the trophies, and there was one that he couldn’t figure out; you had to escape a level 5 police scan.

So he went online and googled the problem. He was not happy with the result, but try as he might, it was the only one he could find. So he did it this morning before he went to work.

He took the character to a crowded place, pulled out a machine gun and let rip. It must have killed between 15 and 20 civilian characters before the scan meter was at level 5. The noise was horrendous and it attracted both my attention (and made me muck up the pattern I was knitting) and the baby’s attention (she’d been playing with her ducky ball).

It was realistic and I started having a panic attack. I picked up the baby and cuddled her away from the noise.

Now I can think logically about it, it wasn’t what was on the screen that was panicking me. It was the noise. The realistic sound of the machine gun he was using on the game. It took me back to a particular incident that shaped my life without me realising it.

* * *

When I was 16, I was in the Air Training Corps. It’s the cadet branch of the RAF and I was seriously considering a career in the RAF at the time. One of the last events I went to was a joint exercise with the local USAF base. The Military Police there had put on an exercise for the local ATC units complete with full military training gear. This meant we were wearing the laser vests that they used and carrying blank adapted M16’s with laser equipment to “tag” the vests.

And yes, you read that one right. They were allowing teenagers to use M16’s. There were also two M60 ‘s set up the same way, one for each team. We were given the guns and put through training exercises – stripping, cleaning, reassembling in a set time, practice on a range with live bullets and on a stationary dummy wearing a laser vest with blanks in the gun.

All stuff we had done before at ATC with the 302 rifles we’d used for ages on our range.

We also were given a small strip of ammunition and allowed to shoot the M60. This was to show us how the rifle worked and make the point that the only people big enough to carry the things were two of the biggest boys I had ever seen in my life… and I wasn’t a small, dainty little girl.

Anyway. It wasn’t the experience of shooting the M60 that did the damage. That was funny because the gun moved me back in the heather by about 3 feet. It wasn’t even the “capture the flag” exercise we played next, albeit with the M16’s on our shoulders. We’d done that before with LR98’s and laser equipment on a RAF Base.

It was the Night Exercise.

We’d been told that we were being treated like Military Academy students and that when they were on exercise, they carried their guns at all times. So we had to. I literally slept that night with an M16 next to me. We were all in one camp, both teams together.

I say slept. Others slept. I didn’t. I couldn’t. The gun felt as hard and dangerous as a knife and while I knew it was loaded with blanks and the safety was on, I was terrified that it was going to go off in the night.

I fell into a half doze about three in the morning when my body refused to remain awake any longer.

At dawn the camp was attacked.

I lay in my tent, my hand on the M16, frozen with fear as an M60 opened up out in the woods around us and blasted us. Everyone’s laser vests started screaming at us and while some of the boys managed to rally and fire back, the rest of us lay there, scared out of our wits.

They were trying to make some kind of point apparently, because they’d noticed that some of the boys had got rather cocky, trigger happy and were being reckless. Our Officers had agreed and were joining in.

That noise has lived with me ever since.

I managed to complete the event without being hurt (normally I got an injury of some sort), cleaned and returned my M16. I even got a commendation for being able to complete the entire 1 mile obstacle course within a decent time.

I quit ATC  not long after that. My excuse was that I wanted to concentrate on my exams. The real reason was that I realized that the RAF wasn’t for me. At the time I didn’t want to think like that and I was being encouraged by my teachers to choose that career, so I acted out the charade a little longer and then when I got to University, I changed direction.

This morning, it was that noise. The machine gun going off on the TV that sent me straight back into my 16 year old self lying on the ground, listening to the M60 shoot over my head and the laser vest’s warning screaming in my ear.

I know now that should I have to, I can pick up a gun and shoot someone with it. To protect my life, to protect my children, to protect TOH, I will do it. But I’m scared of them, of guns. I’m scared that I found that in myself. I’m scared that I could kill another human being.

And I’m scared that all the war and violence that I ducked out of by not going into the RAF might actually happen over here. That I might actually have to pick up a gun to defend my children.